I have some confessions to make.
Winter was a struggle for me personally. I found myself overwhelmed by my work. I got lost in the small stuff and forgot about the bigger picture. Every day, I found myself just barely scraping by and constantly trying to catch up as a flood of unfinished work built itself into an enormous and unbearable beast. I couldn’t prioritize and because of that I fell behind more and more. I tackled small tasks at work which gave me a false sense of achievement because all my challenging, long-term tasks were ignored and continued to sit on my desk unfinished. I came home feeling exhausted and lifeless. I was constantly fighting off colds and flus because I was just wearing myself too thin.
And now spring is here. Summer is just around the corner. The sight of the sun has made me open my eyes a bit wider to the bigger picture of my life. I don’t want to be the person barely scraping by. I want to end my days with the same high notes that begin them. And so I’m working my way into some intriguing and exciting changes. I’m re-evaluating the way I spend my time and working on making some cuts to the unnecessary time wasting bad habits I’ve developed in an attempt to cope with my seemingly insurmountable workload and fear of failure. I’m re-evaluating the idea of what is truly necessary of my life. I’m also going to be adding some additional structure to how I look at my day.
Which brings me to where I am now. Ritual. Routine. Daily practice. These are words that I was playing around with a lot last summer. I had self-sustained a pretty decent daily practice throughout the summer of 2013 and then when the school year started, I slowly but surely began to lose sight of that daily practice. Everything in my life suffered from the loss of that early morning time for me to orient myself to my day. Getting Zuko was supposed to help me re-focus my energies, but he has actually been more of a distraction (he’s a puppy that needs constant attention even in the morning). I love spending time with him and he has been helping me get more active, BUT my writing has suffered. I haven’t been logging my hour of writing every morning. The blog hasn’t seen a post since March!
And yet I’m still thinking. I’m still reading. I’m still developing. My dedication to my writing is what keeps me sane. And that link has been broken for the most part this year. I’m still working on My One Little Word project but the work has been constantly late. I’m still working on the prompt for April even though I should be reflecting on April and jumping into focused goals on May. I don’t accept late work from my students and yet I have been putting of my own personal goals for myself. And so I’m re-instituting those simple pieces of ritual from the summer: wake up early in the morning, sun salutation, and WRITE! The wake up time is somewhat flexible but requires at least an hour of me time before I have anything else to do. Good thing I’m a morning person!
Today is my first step in reigniting the writing fire inside myself. I have a lot of resources to help get me on the right track and a lot of blog post ideas that have been put on the back burner during my prolonged hiatus. I hope that you, dear reader, will continue sticking around through this very hectic and bumpy ride.
The blog is changing as I change. I’m leaning away from regular book reviews and toward more regular reflections and free writing. I’m even going to be doing some experimentation with poetry. My goal is to just write something here very day. I hope that you join me in reflecting, learning, growing, and changing. Your comments of support are incredibly helpful for me and I enjoy the prospect and possibility of continuing to talk with you about everything and anything that I might post up here.
Here’s to the ritual of writing!
© 2014, Jennifer Lesnick. All rights reserved.