I think I’ve mentioned this before but I have trouble accepting success. I am a perfectionist in so many ways. The mere thought of failure or not making things work out just right terrifies me. On many occasions I have literally been paralyzed by my fears. I’ve avoided a lot of challenges in my life. But recently, I’ve been working on changing that attitude and adopting a new mantra: progress is progress. And since I’ve been repeating that constantly in my head, I’ve actually been making some progress! And while I’m not where I want to be, I’m actually making changes that are sticking. And that feels so incredibly good. So today, I’m going to be a bit of a show off and tell you about some of my recent accomplishments as I work through my life right now.
I’ve officially lost 10 pounds. I have 10 more before I reach my goal weight but I’m officially noticing the difference. My clothes are almost falling off of me. Being able to actually feel and see a difference is a thrill that keeps me going on this weird anti-weight loss shift I’ve been making in my life. Instead of focusing all my energies on my weight and how much it depressed me, I set fitness goals for myself. In addition, the boyfriend and I have been making some small changes to our diet and viola! This system is far from perfect (we went out for Panda Express tonight) and yet it still is bearing the sweet fruit of results.
Even better than the weight loss is my physical achievements. I’m slowly but surely getting stronger as I sweat my way through weekly yoga sessions, climbing sessions where I’ve already surpassed my former achievements on the wall, and running. I never though I would be consider myself a runner but I’ve finally completed the Ease into 5k program. For athletic types, this probably doesn’t seem like much of an achievement but for me it has been huge. And seeing what I am capable of only makes me want to work harder. I’m going to be continuing to train myself in the running department. I’m pushing myself to complete my regular routine at faster times and then eventually I’ll start pushing myself to cover more distance (hello ease into 10k!).
The Happiness Project is still going strong. This month I’m focusing on work. I’ve been meaning to write a post about September’s goals but work has literally been consuming me. I still don’t quite have the work-life-writing balance thing down but I’m adapting the best I can. The fact that I’m writing this post right now seems like a mini-miracle. Still, I have finally discovered that I can push some thing back when it comes to work. Not everything needs to be done right this moment. And that realization has made a huge difference in my sanity department. And yes, the 2nd year of teaching is easier but as soon as I got my first stack of essays, everything went a little crazy. Plus, getting sick so early in the year didn’t help me get off to my strongest start. Still, I’m adapting and adjusting and doing what I would certainly consider a much better job than last year.
And that’s the gist of my life right now. I’m on a definite up and up and it feels so good. I’m so thankful for my family and my boyfriend who have been so supportive and inspirational as I’ve worked to pull myself together. I’m still a work in progress but I’m making progress and recognizing that this is a process has made all the difference. Don’t worry, this is just the beginning. There is so much more to come. Thank you to all of you who have decided to be a part of my journey. I appreciate your kind words, your opinions, your well wishes. You mean so much to me!
© 2013, Jennifer Lesnick. All rights reserved.