April Love is Coming

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April is only a few days away.  Spring is here.  Spring break is about to start.  I’m excited to shed my winter layers in favor of some spring love.  I thrive in the spring and summer months and I’m really looking forward to shedding some of the difficulties that plagued me in this very rough winter season.

I’ve been trying to listen to the universe a bit more and I’ve been noticing some trends.  I’ve been hearing a lot about self love and self care.  These are both areas where I’ve been lacking lately.  But every day is a new day to jump on the self care bandwagon.  Even the smallest acts of self care can have enormous impacts.

Self love and self care are vital elements to nourishment and so I’m excited to announce that I will be spending the month of April focusing on these areas of nourishment.  I’ll be participating in Susannah Conway‘s April Love photo project and using her prompts to help me explore these topics and the roles they play in a more nourished lifestyle.

I’m excited to take on a photo project as I’ve been slacking off on taking photos even though I have my phone with me all the time!  Still, I love that these particular prompts are about more than just photos.  They will provide awesome points for introspections, general quandary, and reflection.  I want to better understand where I am currently in these areas and where I want to be.

I’m also looking forward to the community that always follows a Susannah Conway hosted event.  I have already started to feel some of the love from like minded souls and I can’t wait to get even more inspired and connected.  I encourage you to consider joining up if you haven’t already.  This will be a fun foray into the world of self love and self care.  And you know, when you love yourself, you’re able to love others!

Remember Nourishment

I’ve been in a funk lately.  I’ve been feeling distant and removed from my own life.  I lost that vigorous vibe that I had going for a while.  Despite all the excitement around being engaged, I’ve become apathetic.  Somehow, my life has lost some of its luster.  And in this funky phase I’m in, I’ve struggled to write.  I’ve struggled to manifest my core desired feelings.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still am going through the motions.  I’m still finding ways to get my posts on here complete.  I’m still taking on new projects.  I’m just not really applying myself to them.  I’m letting work and goals just pile up in my inbox until I feel more motivated.

And that’s the thing: I still want to reach my goals.  I still have flares of passion and inspiration.  Ideas are still coursing through me.  I’ve just been frozen in the muckiness of not feeling up to actually doing the work and pushing forward.

Last week I wrote about accountability and I think on some level a lack of accountability has been allowing me to wallow a bit and avoid focusing on discipline.  I wallow in the winter.  I don’t know why.  There is something about this time of year that turns me into a hibernating wallower.  I fall behind.  I get mopey and sickly.  I put back on some of the weight that I lost over the summer.  I feel bad about myself.  I spend way too much time hiding away indoors.

But somehow, spring is arriving.  For me Spring Break is right around the corner and I’m already starting to think about ways that I just might be able to use that week of time to jump start my passion, my discipline, my beloved projects.

My priorities are the following:

  • One Little Word (Nourish).  Simply put, I fell behind on this.  But luckily the One Little Word project is all about going at your own pace.  I am really looking forward to reflecting on the prompts and getting artsy!  I’m hoping to use the prompts to all create a mini series of essays on the blog around ways to manifest nourishment in various aspects of life.
  • Desire Mapping.  I’ve actually been using my Desire Map planner to help me set goals toward manifesting my desires.  The follow through on those goals hasn’t been the best ever but each day I’m discovering was to make more concrete goals to help guide my efforts.  I’ve been brainstorming some ideas for essays on how I am learning to better manifest these desires.
  • B School.  I signed up for Marie Forleo’s B School.  I started working through some of the content the moment I signed up and then I got side tracked.  Needless to say, I’ve fallen behind!  I want to get back on track with the course though.  I’m looking forward to learning a lot from this course!
  • And last but not least: I want to revisit the idea of a daily creative habit that falls in line with Crystal Moody.  I am so incredibly inspired by her and others who have jumped on the creative habit band wagon.  My goal of using those writing prompts to guide some free writing every day didn’t really go according to plain.  I did less than a month before I basically scrapped the project.  I’m all ears for suggestions regarding a daily creative habit.

Interested in helping me stay accountable?  I’m still looking for accountability buddies to help me plan and stay on track (just leave a comment if you’re interested).  I’m also curious about your funks.  Do you find that there is a certain time of year when you just struggle?  How do you get out of your funk?  Any ideas about a creative habit?  If you are participating in fostering one, I’d love to hear about it!

How are you?

So often when we greet someone, we ask, how are you?

And the conversation follows the typical rhythm.  I’m fine or I’m okay or I’m good or Great!  Sometimes I don’t even wait to hear the answer.  I just have this methodical idea of how the conversation has already unfolded.

But more and more I’ve been realizing that I should actually care about the response when I ask that question.  I want to hear more than the typical response.  I want to actually know how someone is really doing when I ask that question.  I want to stop and talk about this question: how are we doing?  Isn’t this the foundation of creating a connection?  Of caring for another human being?

Because when I say I’m fine or I’m good or I’m okay, I’m usually not really any of those things.  I’m usually actually masking something much more complex that I don’t think other people would care to take the time to understand.  I’m usually really: overwhelmed, disappointed, scared, nervous, anxious, conflicted, frustrated, exhausted, angry, sad, lonely … the list of complicated and frequently negative emotions that I can cycle through in a day are difficult to describe and even more difficult to actually explain to another person.  So instead, I just say I’m fine.  I shut down the possibility for deeper human connection.  I choose to go with the flow of social standards.

I actually even do this with positive emotions too.  I don’t like to share too much of my successes.  I get scared that I’ll jinx it or that I’ll come across as a self-absorbed gloater.  I struggle with confidently celebrating my wins.  So I mask my positive emotions along with my negative ones.

I guess today my message is simple: why not try standing out and delving deeper?  Why not genuinely ask someone you care about how they really are?  Challenge them and yourself to go beyond the superficial.

Waiting …

I’m waiting on some big news.  I’m not a patient person so the waiting game is not my favorite.  And then divine intervention sent this whopping truth bomb my way:

“Make space in your life for the inevitable arrival of what you want.” – DanielleLaPorte 

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Instead of passively hoping the time will fly by, I can actively make use of the time I have.

Maybe waiting is just part of the process.  Maybe I just need to have a little faith that I need this time to compose myself, to get all my ducks in a row, to thrive in my own awareness of my link to the divine.

I can picture the goal and the response I’m waiting for.  I know how good I’ll feel when I get there.  I know how much more I want to do and be once I reach this next milestone.  I’ve put in a lot of work to make this mine.

And the waiting to know feels like some slow, horrible death.  But this waiting is actually a life of its own.  A life where every possibility is still open.  A life for me to get myself ready for anything and everything.  I can imagine and reimagine.  I can plan and then plan again.  I’m in the space of absolute creative freedom because I have no restrictions.

This perspective is not easy to get into and yet once you do … well, it can be still difficult to maintain.  Waiting doesn’t magically become easier.  But I can choose to be optimistic and see each result for the merits that it will offer.  I can use this time and space to be healthy and whole so that when the news does come I’m read to manifest what I desire.

Any big news you’re currently waiting on?  How do you handle the waiting game?  

Help Wanted: Accountability

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I talk about change and productivity on this blog a lot.  I talk about goals and steps I plan to take to reach goals.  I share a lot of what scares me, what I’ve been putting off or avoiding in my life.  I do this with the simple hope that if I write it down and send it out into the world, I will somehow be held accountable.  I hope that my readers will leave comments of support and send me reminders of what I’ve promised them.

You see, being accountable to myself simply isn’t enough.  I can rationalize changes in deadlines.  I tell myself excuses.  I don’t really mind all that much if I don’t get something done by the deadline.  I live in a world where I’ve accepted procrastination and overwhelm.  I wear my exhaustion like its some sort of badge of honor.

But I know that if I were doing this work for someone else, I wouldn’t allow myself to give in to those rationalizations or excuses.  I would “suck it up” and get the work done.  I would show up and show off.  I would be my absolute best self.  I would want to impress.

I’m not saying that I lie to other people about who I am or how I work.  I am at my core a hard worker.  I have just been viewing my creative commitments and goals as hobbies instead of work.  I haven’t treated my desire to grow my online presence and eventually create an online business as a job.  I’ve been treating these dreams as something that I do when I have time.

That kind of talk simply doesn’t lead to dreams becoming a reality.  The truth is that right now I’m working two jobs: I’m trying to grow this blog, figure out ideas for my online business, and write.  All of these require me finding external social accountability check ins.  I need an accountability buddy to help me meet my deadlines and goals.  So this is me sending out the flag for help.  I’m hoping that this necessity resonates with someone out there.  Please note that the title itself implies that I’m looking for someone out there who has similar interests and finds herself or himself on a similar journey!